Tales of the AICEFF
Operation: Shadow Scare

Immortal is getting restless, and everyone knows how dangerous that is. The game room in the base is the least used area on base, but lately it has been seeing some action. All of this bad weather has everyone cooped up inside. Everyone has getting been getting moody! You could almost cut the tension between everyone with a knife.

I have changed my name to Codename: PD, so when Dru started calling Codename: Dancing Pixie (a.k.a. Evil Pixie) DP, she finally got tired of it and smacked him up side the head. Codename Heartshine has been taking good care of him though.

Our fearless leader, Codename: Mortem seems to be finally getting used to his boxers, though he did suggest killing himself and going through regeneration again to get out of them, but we gave him to Codename: Immortal to keep his jokes up to par for future missions. Mortem laughed until near death and promised he wouldn’t follow through with his "passing" idea. Tickling no longer affects Mortem, I guess he’s stronger from the whole incident.

Codename: Cat attempted calling in homicidal, but was asked, "What’s so strange about that?"

Codename: Devil’s Dance is probably the luckiest out of our bunch! He is off investigating possible other missions.

Good news has come out of all of this, though. Unfortunately it seems that on our last mission, we put the boxers on backwards - but on the bright side, we may almost have a written agreement from him agreeing to wear underwear on the missions, what he does in his own time is his business!

The hotline phone rings. What another mission? Finally! We all gather around while Mortem talks to the bigwigs. "Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Okay." When he hangs up, we all press him for info. Our new mission is Operation: Shadow Scare.

The Groundhog, old and nothing more than a tradition. Just a representative - kind of like the royal family in England; not a formal member of the Holiday Coalition; tired of not being powerful and he finally decided to do something about it. He sneaked El Nino into the United States. Together they reek havoc using the weather.

Punxsutawney Phil at Gobbler’s Knob in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. He is the culprit. The A.I.C.E.F.F. has been keeping an eye on Phil, but up until this point, he has been a small timer, no one to really worry about. They are always the ones that will come up and bite you on the ass.

The A.I.C.E.F.F. run off in their different directions to prepare. Everyone is assembled - time to make a house call to Punxsuatawney Phil in Gobbler’s Knob. Leading the way, of course, was Codename: Mortem. We board our helicopter and we’re off! On the way everyone is pretty quiet. I open my eyes to a bright sunrise. Oh, of course it’s nice up here!

Codename: Ligeia is waking everyone up. She is our intelligence officer - she keeps better track of all of our files better than anyone I have ever known.

Codename: Rohmer this mission’s doctor is already up and giving everyone a last minute check-up. We all parachute out into the town of Punxsuatawney. All of our missions before have been in remote and exotic locations; this mission will be completely different.

Codename: Cat, our undercover person, master of disguises, throws on a blonde wig, stuffs a basketball under her shirt and goes in the nearest mom and pops store to inquire about where to find the groundhogs burrow. Within minutes (ten) she comes out with a homemade apple pie and the needed information. Time to go to war!

We get to Gobbler’s Knob and the excitement begins! They knew we were coming! I guess a little birdie told them!

Codename: Pixie, with her quick eyes and sniper talents, gets off a shot right before we see the groundhog disappear underground. Oh no! That can’t be good! He’s underground and we’re out in the open. We spread out.

I look over a Cat and she’s wearing a sombrero. What in the?? Then we hear "Ehhh Vato!!" Good thinking Cat! You tricked El Nino! He thinks you want to do the Salsa Dance with him! "Es bonita!"

Codename: Immortal - in charge of defenses, starts blasting the El Nino. I think he has a personal vendetta for him.

I think Nino is hit! It’s starting to rain! Waitaminute! He can use this water to his advantage! What now? The suddenly ground erupts under Rohmer! A huge gopher hole is the only thing to be seen where she once stood. Damnit! Who is going to give me a band-aide when I need one now? That just ticks me off! Everything starts happening at once. We are split between Phil and El Nino.

Mortem, NAP, and Ligeia are blasting away at the Groundhog! He keeps poking his head up in different places so it looks like they are playing one of those games at a state fair!

Dancing Pixie, Cat, Immortal and I are attempting to take on El Nino. The wind is whipping around and the water is up around our ankles. Suddenly a tornado comes from nowhere out of the sky and whips Dancing Pixie away (she looked really pissed!) The ground keeps erupting behind me, damn gopher! I’m starting to sink in the mud. I hear cursing behind me to my right. A mudslide has buried Mortem up to his neck - oh how he hates to be taken out of the action! Sorry man!

I look over at Ligeia just to see her in her own little battle. It’s snowing over there! There are some skis just waiting for her to pick them up and go skiing. No don’t! It’s a trick! The last I saw of her she had picked up the skis and was walking deeper into the snow - I wonder how El Nino managed a blizzard in the middle of a hurricane? Hurricane? Sure enough, right as I realize that we are in the middle of a hurricane, everything goes dead still - the middle!

Immortal looks happy for the first time in days. Then it starts raining again and his walks off muttering about being tired of the rain but before I can catch anymore of what he is saying, he falls into a gopher hole just as a rockslide crashes down. Bummer! I can’t move my feet! My feet are suctioned into the mud! Oh well, it’s up to NAP and Cat now.

El Nino says, "Agua?" and proceeds to call a flood.

NAP, who has a knack for avoiding deadlines, directs one at the Groundhog and hits him! Even though she is good at avoiding deadlines, she needs to work on avoiding physical objects because the incapacitated groundhog slams into her knocking her out.

It’s El Nino and Cat now. Cat, chewing on some Hot Tamale candies starts breathing fire! Wow! Pretty cool trick! She evaporates El Nino and puts another notch for victory on her belt. As the floodwater covers our mess and us I think, "We won! See you back in the regeneration room. Wait! "Mortem will be regenerated without his box..."

©   1998   T A D

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