Scentless Apprentice


Is there some kind of reason
For the things I'm feeling
And I don't know just what I should do

Is there some kind of answer
For my inside cancer
I'm sick and dying, I feel all is done

Chorus:
Ooh, ooh
I can find my way back home
but it's not there
anymore...

How can I find myself in this
Ever changing nothingness
I find I'm dwelling on the memories left behind

(chorus)

I've tried so hard
to find the words
in my heart
to let everyone know
that I'm okay
just a little bruised
and a little sore I'm alright
(alright)
nothing remains the same
I cannot stay unchanged
I will always remain
innocent
but stained...

© 2000 ~~scentless apprentice~~




We've been through times together and/ We'll see many more/ I've had my share of faults/ and you've let them go/ I've tried to let you know/ just how much you meant/ and this is the way that came to mind:/// We now depart each other/ but we'll still be together/ You take my heart with yours/ on each and every endeavor/ You go now to make a future for yourself/ and I must too/ With eyes looking deeply, and hands interlocked/ We'll see each other through// I pray we'll stay together/ and make a family if we do/ With eyes looking deeply, and hands interlocked/ We'll see each other through// And if God have it be, we travel separate paths/ you'll always remain my best friend true/ and one day at the pearly gates of heaven/ with eyes interlocked, and hand-in-hand/ We'll see each other through
© ~~scentless apprentice~~




counter-productive/ watch me bleed/ watch me be sedated// sleeping now I/ don't know how I/ can't believe in you/// Sell my soul for peace - pieces of youth/ Sell my soul for lease - the leases on you/ sold to be gone// What do you see in me?/ Is it that fun to be/ so confident in measure?// Are you done yet?/ twisted my mind albeit/ I'm through with it/ Not taken it no more/// Sold my soul for a small piece of youth/ Sold my soul for friends/ kinda poor now
© ~~scentless apprentice~~




Drifting.../I'm left alone/ to sort out.../ all the things I've known/ Now I've got people.../ who really care/ but deep down in the pit of my mind/... you can never be there..be there.....be there// I've seen troubled times- but I'm still here/ I've held on to things - important enough to disappear/ There's no such things as a greater love/ exclude the one felt from above/// oh my god... what have you done/ when things come down to this/ I've made my mind... said not this time/ I'm holding onto your kiss/// And I've hurt- but bruised remains/ carry on - continue- continue the game/// oh my god.. what have you done/ when things come down to this/ I'm reminded that I am one/ I've made my mind.. said not this time/ I'm holding - holding - HOLDING onto your Kiss/// They said you left me here.. face the pain alone/ I will make it on my own/ A prayer carries one so far... dispell the light from the dark/ so why can't I feel?/ I'M HOLDING ONTO YOUR KISS
© ~~scentless apprentice~~




"Don't take me for granted/ I lost all, you see - because/ I care to be free/ Free of the clause - you follow// sorrow's lost path to me/ I'm feeling empathy/ Swallow it whole with me/ Dement your sorrow/ We all stray// Feelings are better to hide/ Things that you abide/ You run to see it through/ But it doesn't care about you/ - you're feeling it too!// Sorrow, the sea/ it just took me in/ I drift a thousand worlds/ You see your lover girl/ We all stray/ We all stray/ Sorrow's lost path to me/ We all stray sometimes..../ .. you just got to find the way back"
© 1997 ~~scentless apprentice~~




"I am seeing you/ through a different light/ yeah- you know it’s true// And I really don’t expect your time/ I really don’t expect to find/ You in a good light/// ooh... betray/ ohh.. betray/ ooh.. you say/ ohh..that you don’t care/ well neither do I// Supersede- blessed love/ I gleam - you know (I hate it)/ And it’s adoring too// I’d like to think/ Yeah, I’d like to think/ That there’s something better than this/// ohh... betray/ ooh...betray/ ohh... you say/ ooh... that you don’t care/ doesn’t surprise me-no!"
© 12/97 ~~scentless apprentice~~




"Boy, don’t keep looking at me/ You know I’m right when I say/ Things laced with apathy/ Tend to roll right my way/// Don’t you seem to bleed the light/ the light that all the people seek/ And you abuse that sole right/ and fuckin abuse the minions meek// Faget, don’t make your pass at me/ Believe me when I say that I’m taken/ Cause your ways defy continuity/ of reason and I believe that you’re mistaken/// Don’t it make you wanna run and hide?/ these nazi-fuck ups drain/ oh.. your apathy, your apathy/ no longer to sedate your mind// Preacher, don’t send your sermon to me/ I make my choices on my own now/ And you scream blasphemy, blasphemy/ Just because I do it on my own somehow// Don’t God seem to let you down/ but you swear it gets you off/ It lets your sorrows drown/ well let them fuckin drown!// Hey, seems every step I take/ pulls me from the light/ And moving’s just a blur/ it just tears me whole inside... // Jerk-offs, don’t talk at the back of me/ Speak your mind within my sight/ Find my whole physique - not so bleak/ You must be lookin for a fight// Every where I step/ Every thought I think of you/ And it’s a waste of the concept/ or I’d come.. and run to you"
© 11/97 ~~scentless apprentice~~




"Broken winged angel - come down to me/ Reveal the things that I have longed to see/ Please angel don’t let your angel wings mend/ Before I know it you’ll leave me again/// Broken winged angel/ love of my heart/ God snapped your wings/ so you’d play the part/ Of my ever love/ you’ll get your wings again/ Then with a goodbye/ you’ll be off to heaven// Broken winged angel - sent down from above/ sent down to this life and become who I love/ You’ll always be my angel high/ And you’ll stay that ‘til the day the world will die"/// chorus
© 2/97 ~~scentless apprentice~~



"Why I try to forget/ oh yeah, I can't remember/ Seems all roads lead to me/ and I'm a dead end/traveling 80 going nowhere/ Nice to see you've been fooled again/ Lies will get you nowhere/ but the truth just kills you/ Death is all around/ Welcome to freedom/ There's always my love/ She never disappoints me in letting go/ oh yeah, we're still together/ guess it was just too much time apart/ Lost things are always found/ when you need them least/ Nice to know you still have a chance/ maybe you'll get a life/ And on a brighter note/ here comes the night /And on a darker note/ I taste like chicken/ Who's to say I don't have the right/ I was born into it/ It's always feeding time just/ when I've taped my mouth shut/ I'm beside myself when I'm all alone/ It's safe to say don't quote me on that/ Being blind, dumb, deaf and mute isn't all bad/ At least I got an excuse.../ What's yours?"
© 11/96 ~~scentless apprentice~~



"Diamond eyes that stare through me/ no greater beauty is there for me to see/ I pray to hear the words that I've longed to hear...// I can't help but feel attached/ to your loving heart unmatched/ whatever it takes.. I want you here/// my love, my love/ be with me/ my love, my love/ set my heart free/ my love, my love/ I just want to be in love// These eyes do they know me?/ all my hopes and all my dreams/ they live in you../ you're a dream come true// And they won't end there/ I live without a care/ I have faith in love.... I rely on love/// my love, my love/ will you love me?/ my love, my love/ you have made me be/ with acceptance of .. my love, my love"
© 3/97 ~~scentless apprentice~~




"Inspired by the wench (in me)/ I write out depressed feelings/ Seethes out to paper torn/ Makes me not to be born// So many born of hate/ These people can’t sedate/ They bring me down inside/ I have all but lost my pride// I know not where I go/ I know not what I’ll do/ But the things I won’t forget/ Are things I found in you// Peace it comes in by piece/ filling so I become obese/ with tortured rhythmic stole/ within I hurt my soul// I only want you there/ I could use someone who cares/ But that day will nevercome/ Feel the barrel on my tongue// And now they show it now/ And now they feel it now/ And so it hurts me so/ My body left in tow// It seems not my ability/ The things I cannot see/ My mother weeps for me/ My "friends" - they weep for me?// And only to be here/ to see you grow up/ go on to see a happier day/ I wish you’re not away// I only need you here/ I must have someone who cares/ Life is just a loaded gun/ Feel the barrel on my tongue// Oh, and how you’d bleed for me?/ Seems I lost all reality/ When nothing (no one) cares for me/ Feel it on my tongue// I lost you all there/ And it seems neither do you care// My God why don’t you kill me??/ Don’t care, you kill me/ My God why do you hate me??/ Don’t you care? (Don’t you kill me?)// I lost you all there/ and seems neither do you care"
© 12/97 ~~scentless apprentice~~



"Little world... no air(X3)/ Tiny world...despair(X3)/ Broken world... repair(X3)/ Dying world... despair(X3)......... DESPAIR/ Descent .. nobody...knows why....we all die/ I never knew...why they hunted you...I take home in glue..this spire of pride/ Bloody knuckles show...what we never know...corruption not so slow... fall of conformity.... empty bodies left to see.... I don't even know why///(Chorus A): Ever broken little girl, strolling in my broken world/ I deny the things you do to me/ sliding further down, sinking below the ground/ fall of conformity.. empty bodies left to see... I don't even know why..///(Chorus B): No, I can't give in- I can't keep dyin'/ my control in drivin'- feeding me/ something seething bleedin' me-writhing, burning, turning me/ sinking, fading, caving in- I can't win..(Both choruses done at same time)//I can't win/ Lose to sin/ Broken whim/ Ohh....//(Repeat choruses)//Die. Burn. Waste. Break. Kill. Fight. Lose. DIE."
© 12/97 ~~scentless apprentice~~




"I lie down in bed at night/ and let my dreams do as they may/ But I don’t do so this night/ for I find my mind wandering/ What will tomorrow hold/ What joy shall it bring?/ I let my mind wander some more/ It wanders to the edges of the vast ocean/ It wanders to the highest mountain/ It wanders to you my dear/ for you are the one I love// I continue to let it wonder/ and it continues to think about you/ It lingers upon your beautiful eyes/ It brings out your angel face/ Let go your worldly hopes/ And spread out your beautiful wings/ Soar through the air my dear/ Climb up high to the top/ There lies your pedestal my love/ The one I’ve put you on/ The one you shall never fall from// Hold fast to your dreams sweet girl/ And may your heart always be true/ Find that no one else lurks near/ It is only just me and you/ All alone/ both in love/ letting our hearts and minds,together, soar/ In a beautiful composure of dreams"
© 1996 ~~scentless apprentice~~



"By now I should’ve got it through my head/ by now, guess I should’a learned/ There are some things we all need/ There’s some candles that must burn// I’m going nowhere on an empty tank/ I only need a constant supply/ My lifeline to this eternal world/ A branch off of forever/// I could cry a billion tears/ I could kill it all away/ Don’t care I’d do what it takes/ To make you stay// You could course through my veins/ You could burrow into my soul/ Just enter my life/ You’re the one who makes me whole//Extra-curricular injections/ Intercourse of the soul/ A joining of hearts/ What else could feel so good/// What if I couldn’t cry all those tears?/ What if I couldn’t kill it away/ I’m doing my best, but would you leave/ or would your loving heart stay?// I’m sorry I’m not the best/ Safe to say I’m not the worst/ I just wish you’d let me look up to you/ Just as you’ve looked down on me// You are the one who keeps me here/ You’re the reason for my dawning of a day/ Any attempts to see things otherwise/ Are all wasted and sought in vain/// You’re the blood in my veins/ Whatever the course, the end is the same/ I need you more than anything/ You’re driving me past insane// Somethin should’a clicked here/ I’ve no other way to say it/ Make no mistake in what you hear/ If it’s said with passion then you meant it"
© 2/97 ~~scentless apprentice~~



"With such a wonderful love/ Why do i feel the need/ When I'm at this, my happiest/ Why do I wanna die?==As I lie here among the marigolds/ I let go my dreams that I did hold==In marigolds/ And things I'm told/ The lies that sold/ My life growing old==I think I owe it to myself to be honest with my feelings/ I think I owe it to myself not to give in/ Somethings wrong when the radio doesn't take all my pain away==And as I lay here with a bleeding rose/ There's dreams that I had, that never did show==With a bleeding rose/ I confront my lows/ Nobody knows/ The pain in my prose==She says the less that I know/ Is better chalked up to ignorance/ I say I've never known a love but her and that's a laugh/ I problably should give up killing me and tend to how I feel...==I'll lay here among the flowers/ Watch as my blood sours==I love my girl/ Why can't I feel/ This life is killing me/ Oh why, Oh why..==Some things just won't go away no matter how I try So I'll lay among the marigolds and think of how I'd die"
© 1/97 ~~scentless apprentice~~




"Leaving my life understood/ Living my life as you would/ I held no wants inside/ no wants to take that child’s life// What cannot be helped can’t be stopped/ Not a restless spirit, though not to be topped/ I’d never felt this way/ Never to ever live again/// I didn’t do it- wasn’t me/ How could I do it? - this shouldn’t be/ I never was that kind/ never ran around/ this mistake was mine/ and now you put me down// Now I am the victim or is she/ I felt the pain, though she did bleed/ Her stain on my soul, now fact/ What once gave life can surely take it back/// I didn’t do it - wasn’t me/ How could I do it- this shouldn’t be/ I never was that kind/ never ran around/ This mistake was mine/ and now you put me down// ....hold my hand....please....hold my hand.... // This pain that I hold will not leave/ It’s just to hard to believe/ How come when I hit that child that night/ I was the one who lost their life?/// I didn’t do it - wasn’t me/ How could I do it - this shouldn’t be/ I had no choice, can’t forget the sound/ Mama hold on.. to your baby on the ground"
© 12/96 ~~scentless apprentice~~




"Purge me-oh lord/ purge me-whooah/ Fools of deceitness/ fooled again// Lord, sweet Lord/ Blessed me so/ Lord, cruel Lord/ heart and soul/// Blessed be the words I sing in my heart - my head/ Find you now, I grow, oh, sour - it turns out I am dead// Friends, sweet friends/ gather round/ your foolish pride clouds/ your scapegoat dead// And you laugh on now/ but faces change/ When things go wrong/ re-arrange/// Damned be the soul - that I’m cursed to wear/ And I cry each night for the cross you have me bear// Bleeding, bleeding/ Blood runs slow/ over clothes and hands/ over you// So you sit there now/ content heart/ Blessed be you who/ tear me apart/// I can’t give in (struggle) I can’t win (struggle)/ She says she loves me but that’s a lie/ My God - God (struggle) My God - God (struggle)/ She says she loves me but that’s a lie// Does it ever/ heal complete?/ This bleeding me/ is no feat// one..so weak.. is / not.. a.. prize/ But neither is hurting/ or tearing inside// Help me - help me/ can’t ask again/ Help me-save me/ cannot win/ Savior-savior/ steaming blood/ Come down - come down/There’s no love....here// Believe in something and suffer/ Be yourself and die"
© 12/97 ~~scentless apprentice~~




scentless apprentice
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