It's the party of the day! The new year is approaching and it's time for all the lost souls in the AIC land to get together. The scuttlebutt around town had been that the possible appearance by Alice In Chains was more then a possibility. Hell, I'd been driving all damn day trying to get to this stupid hotel. What kind of place is Madagascar for a New Year's party anyway? Couldn't we have rented out the Ritz for less money than this takes? Hell, we could've rented the White House! Now that would be a party! Trust Immortal Sin to choose the other side of Africa for a party house.

Well after a 2 million hour plane ride, you wouldn't think I'd be tired. That's sarcasm, by the way. ... Dammit! How can I get lost on an island the size of Delaware? Gimme a break.

I can't wait to see what Druidic Concoctions looks like when he gets here. He's gonna look like he got $3.50 in change back from his twenty. That's what he gets for deciding he would jet-ski in from the U.S. He left about a month ago. I figured Free Willy ate him about 2 time zones back.

According to the map, I've got, I should be coming up on the Hotel soon. A-ha! There it is. What's that in the air? Holy shit! Sky divers! Man they're falling too fast.... Uh guys?.... Probably should pull those chutes now... You're gonna be meat waffles soon.... There! Finally. They got a banner strung between them. "Pixie Power and Ligeia Landings". Well, I guess I know who that is! Damn adrenaline junkies. I yell out to them "You're both fucking nuts!". They wave back to me. Hey, looks like I'm number one. Both of them think so. ... I'll bet Immortal Sin makes a huge entrance. He's not one to be outdone by paratroopers.

A limo pulls up next to my rent-a-hummer. It got a couple of women dancing out of the sun roof. Correction. Make that Belly dancing. No. It couldn't be. Yup. Sure enough. It's Plohoie Debushka and Jules, zills ringing for the whole island to hear. Looks like they're gonna make a big entrance too. At least I can follow their limo to the hotel entrance.

They are dropped off at the entrance and disappear in a flurry of scarves and silks through the door. I'm waiting in line to get my hummer to the valet. I'm sick of waiting! There's a couple of Fiats, a Gremlin, and a Yugo in front of me, so I start honking my horn to warn the drivers and proceed to cruise right on over the top of them. Ah nothing like the smell of crushed metal to perk up a day. Screw it! This is Africa, there's probably no law against this. "Here's the keys, m'man! Don't scratch it." Just like that, I'm inside.

I'm heading up to the penthouse we're supposed to have gotten. I sure as Hell hope we got damage insurance. I enter the room and see that most everyone is here already. Just as everyone turns to look at me, the door to my right bursts open w/Heart Shine riding on a horse and she's dressed up in a Mountie outfit. Quite cool. She's followed in by Rohmer being pulled on a sleigh and wearing a Santa Skin coat. Weren't those outlawed after that Greenpeace protest?

After the bellhops take away the animals, we all gather in the middle talking about each other's crazy outfits. Everyone seems to dig my saran-wrap kilt w/the matching "Spartacus" leather chest straps.

The wall to the left explodes and everyone drops to the ground. When the dust clears a bit, we all look up and see the Corporate Android herself, Not A Phase, walk thru the hole in the wall. She smiles and says "tick... tick... tick". Cool.

Devil Dance looks around, wondering where Immortal Sin is. Everyone just kind of looks at each other. Suddenly we hear one of those loud tornado sirens outside. We go the window and look down to the street. We see a huge cannon pointed at the building. What's going on? The cannon fires! We see the bullet heading towards us! Take cover! The window explodes and the projectile smashes into the wall across the room. Waitaminute. This "projectile" has a cape and a bad Evil Kenevil jump suit. Immortal Sin! With his head stuck in the wall no less. Ooooh, bad luck hitting a stud like that. 1 in 10 chance, really. Looks like tha gang's pretty much all here. Time to party!

©   1997   C A Lutke

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