"And the comatose archaengel Gabriel
wrote invitations in the sky,
for the shotgun wedding of Judas
to the daughter of Jesus Christ"

© ~~ ET 1979 ~~

FULL CIRCLE

Come dawn, sweet mystery
Fresh taste of time

Retrieve all from darkness
Warm the frozen meadow
The hearts now turned to stone

Weave across the arid sky
Reveal the blue
in her half-closed eyes

Lead me on across the brink
That marks the edge of time
Breach the void of life and death
So that I may find the rhyme
That ties together truth and love
And with them intertwine
The memory waiting there for me
Till eternity is mine

© ~~ ET 2000 ~~

ENTER DANCING

I've heard all those who talk in whispers
Staring blankly my way
Like I've been held up for display
Waiting for some silent recognition
From another of my kind

I've seen all those who gather stones
To throw them through these walls of glass
As if it would somehow move me
Hurt me, taunt me, sway me
To a more parallel path with theirs

Running from promise broken
Running from threat of pain
Running from cries of violence
Running from love in vain

And I've given all I've been asked of at times
To hypocrites and thieves
But most of all I've given hope
For those who don't believe

© ~~ ET 2000 ~~

---

FOR COLLEEN

Visions, in their antiquity
Are a nimble sort of eluder
(as they dodge through time)
Losing the flair they are born of

One or two I have held
Promising myself to claim
Lighting my hopes
in dawn's dancing madness
Clinging to memories
of the way life once was

Visions
Cradled within the palm of love
Warmed by the soul that treasures life
Awaiting the day they set her free
To places only dreamt of
Over seas calm and peaceful
Where illusions remain

© ~~ ET 1981 ~~

ATHENA REBORN

Love to win
But losing again
Thinking back
   (Wondering when)

Hold me memory
Fading fast
Hanging on
To what can't last

Sing sweet ladies
Whisper my name
Carry my children

   (Cure the lame)

Sunshine woman
Athena reborn
I've kept your reflection safe and warm

- Dry and quiet
Scratched and worn

© ~~ ET 1981 ~~

SURREAL

Shadows in the ice room
Faces on the wall
Footsteps on the staircase
Whispers down the hall
Kisses on the window
Nylons on the chair
Whimpers from the bedroom
Winter in the air

Ecstasy, a touch away
Desire fills the hour
Impassioned moment
Peaceful sleep:
Embrace the desert flower

Eros queen, sweet fleeting madness
Sultrily refined
Entwine our souls
Love's tapestry
Enlighten us in time
Dawn is just an hour away
An insurmountable void to some
Once we've spanned its brief eternity
We'll greet the morning sun

© ~~ ET 1982 ~~

BABYLON, EAST COAST STYLE

The nights I remember,
    Just hanging by the moviehouse
    Waiting for discovery

If not for myself,
then a cure for indecision

With the scalpel of profanity
i cut the heart out of my dreams,

Shaking off the chilling loneliness,
i wrap myself in a coat of
prepaid love,

And toss a quarter at the beggar,
who can afford to show himself
as he really is,
unlike the rest of us
who can only hide and stare

And pace the sidewalks
back and forth,

Like an expectant father
or an evangelist on his stage

As we choke on the processed offering
The city's token blessing
Cold realities in granite etchings
Rising higher than Babylon

Just that much harder to destroy.

© ~~ ET 1981 ~~

Carry me starlight
The night's only friend
Bring me closer to morning than I ever have been
Linger with me this evening
Awaiting our bed
Touch us soft into dreaming
Till the night's quiet end

© ~~ ET 1981 ~~

ANOTHER SIP

Another day extend the chase
An hour longer seek the path
Lengthen still the quiet moment
Further run the course of time

Stretch the quivering thread of patience
Another sip of wine to bring
The faded wish,
The half-born promise
The song of life that memory sings

I've gone alone where none would follow
To hold me to this promise made
Perhaps like many in their folly
I'm a victim of my own charade

A fool's device is patient waiting
For something that can never be
So romantic in his suicide
It will never let him free

© ~~ ET 1981 ~~

Waiting is
a way to be

It also is a nightly vigil.

With lamps in the window
Pushing darkness
away from the threshold
As stars fill the ethereal void
Likened to lamps in the sky

They shine on
long after they've died;

Waiting is
a penance of the lonely

For a far-too-proud past
which they cling to with a vengeance
Long after their sins were discovered

Waiting, for some
is a destined fate

Throughout their lives' years
They'll carry their solitude
As a martyr wields his banner,
Or a quiet man will lock up his heart.

Hide the lost face of memory
Endure the strangling silence,
Tenaciously cling
to the promise of fortune,
And then, in the end
just give in with a sigh

- And a long held back good-bye.

© ~~ ET 1982 ~~

RETROSPECT

It was only a brief encounter
A passing thought, that's all
A monotonous line in a story of boredom
The last graying shades of fall

If strength was a friend as it once was
If I had it to do all again
I would travel the roads I laid mark to
Till I followed the course to its end

But to soar in the skies of one's choosing
Is a challenge that few dare to play
Such are shortcomings in their intrusion -
To kill off the dreams that we save

Just a stroke on the canvas eternal
A glimmering star in the night
An interim not of importance
A smoldering ember of life

© ~~ ET 1981 ~~

JACKALS

And what is left -
Once great intrepid fantasy

But that bridge was burned so long ago
There's nothing left to offer me
No, my dear departed, friendly foe
We can't go back to used-to-be

She comes to me at lustrous midnight
A facade of passion, just like you

You who once held me captive
and guided my forever following heart

While still today my soul survives,

Though these many manic thieves of night
have tried to steal it blind

Intact, I gaze the ancient road
For ancient now it seems
And thus attacked
And thus repelled
I find no place to hide
In this land bereft of spring

© ~~ ET 1980 ~~

I remember the beginning
That first glimpse of the Texas sun
Who'd have thought it could last so long
Who could have reasoned it would linger
Fighting time and forgetfulness
Persevering, as if patiently waiting
As if told to by God
(Whatever God may be)

Is fate my true master?
Or do I have a say
Is my destiny liken to what I was made?
May I form it with my will
Can I hold it in my eternal hands
It will all come back in the end
In rushes
From the ashes of reality
When I break the leash of time

Let the meek inherit the world
Only they could handle it anyway
There won't be much by the time they get it

- So why should you care?
- The maniac that you are

Others worse have gone before you
Don't let it bother you that they stare

But I had to march
when and wherever I was told

It's not that I regret it
It's not that I resent it
It's not that I can't handle it
I just want to forget it

© ~~ ET 1982 ~~

---

TUESDAY'S BLUES

I woke this morning desperate
for the way things used to be
It was clear that my composure was
slipping away from me
But that's all right my angel,
It's just those crazy dreams
They come and go and run together
Till they're no longer what they seem

It takes a ton of dynamite
To clear the cobwebs from my head
And then a quart of whiskey
To put it back to bed

I saw you on the corner
Pushing pencils on the blind
You told me they were instruments
To calm a crazy mind

I wanted to find what
it was all about
So took the train
to Hollywood Heights
Where I could hear the prophets out

I made it to the station
Just in time to say goodbye
Was that last look you gave me
An excuse or just a sigh?

© ~~ ET ~~

One word,
If I only had that
   One word

To compensate the effort
Conglomerate the feeling
And tie it all into the sound
Of one forgotten word

Although my thoughts have turned me around
And the years have brought me
up and down
Perhaps to lose the love I've found
Perhaps in life
to play the clown

I tell myself
Don't think so much
I should spend the time in different ways
But the thought of you is all I need
To keep me dangling on the edge of peace

And in hours late I lie awake
Waiting for that one big break
To shine on in and find me here
To capture the magic,

Affront the fear


The old man sat there staring
Out the window, just remembering
Of some past place he'd lived
Some past love still smoldering

She stood above the water
Holding back another moment
Awaiting some small miracle
To stay her on the bridge
He leaned against the building
To keep his bottle from the rain
Salvation must be warm and dry
If it's gonna cloud your brain

They're all searching for an answer
Asking for a reason
The same as I, we're not the kind
you'd go out of your way to meet
We stalk deserted alleyways
and polluted city streets

As with these phantoms in my head
Who voice their fame in words unsaid
Unnoticed, they quietly slip away
To return when they find what they wanted to say

© ~~ ET ~~

SOMEWHERE NORTH

An evening breeze was holding out
A shiver down her spine
The gray sky cast a smell of winter
Settling in the pines


"Seattle's cold, has no one told you

Wear a coat," he said,

"If I were you I'd buy that ticket

Sleep in a greyhound's bed

California's nice this season

No drizzle falling there

No repartees from lonely strangers

Here, have this flower for your hair "


"Oh I don't mind the smell of winter

Nor the coat that I don't wear

That greyhound's bed is much too hard

For sleep to take me there

I'm only staying for a day

Or maybe two, at most

Canada is where I'm going

Unlike the many who will boast

That L.A. is the greener grass

Where wealth waits for us all

It's just a place for fallen kings

And seekers of fool's gold

Who hide behind their bleeding hearts

And the stories they have told

I've been there once

I know it's true

It's everything I've sold "


"Well pardon me," the stranger said,

"It makes me sad to hear you say

A child I was when last I lived there

I've long since moved away

The memories I have of then

I've cherished all my life

It must be different now today

If what you say is right

But somehow I just can't believe

It has died in such short time

I must return to reaffirm

The pictures in my mind "


"What you will find," she answered him,

"Is just a gallery of sorts

That suck you in and chew you up

And spit you in the dirt

The dream has long since run away

To the mountains, I believe

Where rainbows all come to their end

And drown into the sea

Where pharaohs lie in forgotten tombs

Tenants now to the slaves they owned

It's not for any sombrous man

To call that place his home"


"But what of all the people there

Are they damned as well," he asked,

"Are they all to blame

Do all of them

Deserve the stones you cast

Many men have walked that land

Prophets great they were

And have you ever heard of them

Or listened to their words "
 
"Why certainly

You could say I've known them all

And they're as great as you have said

But they are all forgotten now

All of them are dead

The minds of men more shallow now

Dare to masquerade the truth

That came to us from yesterday

From the same place such as you

So pardon me, please if you will

I must prepare to leave

To stay much longer I'm afraid

Would only foster further grief

And return again I never will

My home and family all are gone

Tell them they can look for me

Somewhere north of Forest Lawn."

© ~~ ET 1979 ~~

GOD'S BEHIND YOU
(While You're Leading the Attack)

So Saint Peter was a disciple
But he denied it when they asked him
And Brutus had the crowd believing
But let Marc Antony shift the wind
Jesus was the Son of God
And Cain, his mother's sin

Shake hands now with the devil
As long as God's behind your back
To protect you
And defend you
While you're leading the attack

Your enemy will retreat from you
If he sees you're unified
But if you lose just blame yourself
And in His eyes be justified

Pray for me, you Christian men
For a grandiose sinner I am
Keep your daughters from me
Have you heard that I've been damned?

But my foolish neighbors only see
What I want them to believe
And even this they'll twist around
So it still surprises me

They're afraid of me
I like it such
It keeps them off my back

They think that God's against me
But I'm leading the attack

© ~~ ET 1977 ~~

IN SOFT REPOSE

Once I had a reason
A cause was there before my eyes
But now it's just a faded memory
Of something long ago that died

And now it seems I stand alone
Without the hope that once was mine
Reasons die so very easy
Causes fade with little time

I miss those lonesome highway songs
They belong to a day forever gone
It's hard to face the world these days
Never meaning to live this way

In desperate hours to sit enshrouded
As a clouded vision to eye despair
With chrome driven dreams carouse the night
And wander splintered shadow
Seeking light

© ~~ ET 1979 ~~

A FINAL HOME

Did anyone hear the answer
Have any of you found the way
Has someone already used the key
Has one who knew him lingered to say

Was someone here to seek for me
Have I missed her because of delay
Did she ask my name
Am I really to blame
Why am I so uncertain
As to leave or simply stay

I sit here with a question
That must be answered, not ignored
Solution haunts within the shadow
Beckoning to be explored

Can you feel the earth still beneath your feet
Are your senses in torment
Unable to meet

Can you master illusions
Bringing fear to your mind

Do your thoughts wander aimless
Displaced out of time

As a river in motion -
Distinctive direction
Rolling and sighing wave after wave
We're swept up in currents
Each uniquely our own
As we're guided in directions
To the same final home

© ~~ ET ~~

SINS OF THE FATHER

I saw him in the meadow
Heard his voice upon the wind
The words he spoke struck out like fire
To rustle the leaves
And light the pyre
He sacrificed his innocence
For his country's great defense
Showing them all in flaming glory
He'd die at their expense

He fought for their ideals
One by one
their demands he met
He murdered for their sacred cause
Feeling he owed them such a debt
But in the end
When the chips were down
When the one they sought
at last was caught
His leaders, the false patriots forsook this man,
Who for them had fought

His enemies laughed long and hard
And asked him mockingly,
"Where are your leaders

to save you from death

You foolish idiotic man

They left it to you

to take all the blame

And now you're helpless,

Hopelessly damned"

But their captain was one who respected this man
So he silenced them all with a wave of his hand    

"I am sorry that we meet as such
My admiration for you is great
It's a pity that you have to die
Because of other mens' hate"


"Spare me pity," the soldier said,
"For every man
does the things he must
The ones who truly need your pity
Are those
in whom others lose trust"

© ~~ ET ~~

STRANGER IN THE MIRROR

A fog slowly creeping up the promenade
A smile sickly lingers on a windowpane
Misery resounding in a southbound rain
Running down the sidewalk like a hurricane

Palpitating footsteps from a dimestore queen
A cool, calm, collected
Lonely sailor's dream
Madame La Rouge reflections
Penicillin injections
Shadows in the puddles of cosmetic perfection

Stone cold sober staring ice blue eyes
Drowning in the teardrops of a million lies
Sweet slow surrender in an age of war
Begging for a handout from the company store

Shaking off a bender from the night before
Sipping from the shotglass of the way we were
Mumbling something 'bout a past she never had
Remembering the good times
Forgetting the bad

Whispering to the heartaches of retired Don Juans
Shuffling past a marquee in the Broadway dawn
Paper bags a-blowin' with their memories smashed
While whiskey bottle vendors count up last night's cash

Wishing for a ride out of  Tobacco Road
Waiting for salvation to relieve the load
Standing on the corner with a tambourine
Soaking up the sun and blending with the scene

Life can be a snail creeping slow but sure
When you're trapped inside a world that offers nothing more
Than an empty morning leading to a lonely end
And that stranger in the mirror is your only friend

© ~~ ET 1980 ~~

With knife in hand we'll slash the guts
out of their peuky vinyl dreams
We'll stand on harlequin corner
listening to the alley virgins scream
As they lose their treasured virtues
to the sons of summer rain
And the sex-disabled veterans
staring wildly from the train

  Machete Jim smiles from the hole
he's been kept in all year long
Reading esoteric letters
postmarked daily from Saigon
Don't ask him for directions
although he's been that way before
They caught him after a wild chase
behind the local liquor store.

© ~~ ET 1985 ~~

SUMMIT AVENUE

Stony shadows splash the sidewalk that I wander down
Where the lack of friendly faces has accosted me
And monuments of granite dwarf me strikingly
With evening
comes a chilling loathing all complete
Beyond the neon colored streets

A summer rain falls silently outside my room
This window holds the world in play
At which I gaze

Melancholic'ly
the dreamer stares in effigy
A parting glance at what he had once hoped to be
Reality -
the foe he fears the most of all
Has chosen now for him his turn
to take the fall

In seclusion's grip I find myself in need of love
Through urban skies the raven hunts the fleeing dove
From factory air I sniff the promising obscurity
And tired eyes reveal the stark uncertainty

© ~~ ET 1980 ~~

PARIS RAIN

And I end up all alone,
Stabbing madly at the rain
Groping blindly, like a fool
With a vision of tomorrow
And a thought from yesterday

The years have spread me thinly
Stitched me roughly in their denim
Pasted patches on  my ego
To hide the scars of humble living

From ferric dreams I pause in wonder
Pondering long the grim still silence
Pacing dusked and nimbus footpaths
Passing rankled cobble sidestreets
Wrestling sleep from damp seclusion
Hidden deep among the alcoves

And so I'll leave it all behind me
Forget it as I hasten
A last glance at the madman
He is but a semblance of the past
As his lust for guilt beats rattling
Against the rusting gates of time

© ~~ ET 1980 ~~

FROM THE INSIDE

I've tried, Mr. Ginsberg;
I've tried to see it
as it's (really?) supposed to be,
Although maybe
they've raped the middle class beyond her virgin hopes
of redemption

Whored her beyond the acceptance of any messiah.

But Mr. God, we're still waiting,
listening to the bastard sons of Buddy Holly,
the mutant druids of Sixties demigods

As they try to resurrect Janis and Jimi;

Feeding off our fertile minds
and belching back
our overdosed meaninglessness.

I've been listening, Mr. President;
but I haven't seen anything new or promising:
Just the same old skull-faced images on slamming doors,
as they press my face to the burdening reality
of a burning world.

With every day I age that much older,
While falling behind.

© ~~ ET 1982 ~~

GARGOYLES

Sleep, you ageworn vision
Wrought from the fiery iron of humanity
Pass beyond the zombied hills
Eroded down by fruitless triviality

Return to me
When I find myself at journey's end
But greet me not without some news
Of my long-gone wandering friends

I must press on,
Though stranded now and left behind
To strike out ever further still
Throughout the span of time

Encroach upon the threshold dark
of midnight's starlit gate
In stealth retreat to dawn's miraged
and mirror sheltered cape
Where Andrea Doria at anchor moors
Her spectre crew awaits

The gargoyle stirs
And sniffs the air
As if expecting someone late

© ~~ ET 1980 ~~

THE GLORY YEARS

Where were you in the glory years
I was growing far past my peers

Waving hello and good-bye
In a single gesture to the children of the road
While dreaming one day that I too would follow
Their romantic restless code

Many times I sought you out
A thousand nights I saw you there
Every morning called your name
It's been many years I've searched in vain

The purpose of the songs I've learned
Each verse has my memory ingrained and burned
They are but the tracks of yesterday
They are but those people at who I once waved

Perhaps you were one among them
But you could have been a dream
A flower floating in a wayward stream

A passing glance at destiny

© ~~ ET 1980 ~~

THE WINTERER

A chill -
settles deep and omnipotent.

Overwhelming bite
Cold-blooded clutch.

Drinking the warmth
from the life in my veins
Making me feel
as the eldest of old
Forever festina lente
Slowly ebbing away.

Winter's dead fingers
Frost calloused
Massage and caress me
Strangle youthful vitality.

Nudge me closer & closer
to sleep's calm bemusement.

Alluring December -
Call me into your temple
Your crystalline caverns that fade before sunshine
Hardening with nightfall
Your tapestried glacial escarpments
Guarding adytums of the winterer.

I will wait in this integument
Anticipating his return
So I may commence my hejira
to a clime more forgiving
An environ less inclement.

A warm breeze I yearn for
as my joints ache and numb
I crave spring and summer
after autumn has come.

© ~~ ET 1982 ~~

There's something missing
Something needed in my life
A face subdued by miles and years

Too long a time to stay away
Without a word or bit of news
As one by one my friends are dying
And I'll never share the warmth again

Never again to hear the laughter
Or see the smiles
Only in the pictures I have to remember

There's still some time to linger
Surround these days so steeped in leisure
As I plan tomorrow so carefully
Although I'd like to have it differently
Grab the ring and continue the ride
Give back to yesterday
this traced remaining heartache

Like a present that I never delivered
Wrapped in ribbons - bound with lace
Misplaced with other baggage
Gathering dust in attic memory
Left behind in quiet twilight

As I take another breath of madness
Rolling out
my paved carpet of freedom
Holding back just one more hour
To savor the pleasure of being with people
I trust and admire
Envy and desire

For when I'm gone
What will I become then?

- Another face subdued by miles

© ~~ ET ~~

WATER'S EDGE

Twilight came early to the bay
Slaking its thirst on last light of day
Bringing a scavenger mist post-mortem
To cling clammy,
Surrounding these anchor'd intruders
Floating sleepily with sails furl'd
Seemingly unaware of this relentless burglar

Peering intently through their portals
Mutely knocking at their doors

And as they slept
This stealthy harbinger
lurked the streets of their dreams

Perplexing their slumber
In subtle degrees

Under starshine
As day's warmth rose invisibly into the night;
The sea rolled on,
Caressing the shoreline
with Neptune-blue fingers

Rocking those vessels of unseasoned sailors
Mariners none
but to cities and highways;

Soundly they slept on,
In frail sanctuary
As there on the breakers
In camouflaged vigil
A child of America,
Wayward citizen of freedom:

Watcher by the water,
Waiting at the shore,
The waxing moon his waning beacon
Lights the threshold of his world.

© ~~ ET 1982 ~~

EVERY TUESDAY

And we talk of love,
Two friends in gray twilight.

Serene afternoons,
Quiet mornings,
Lingering evening.

She helps me endure
the temporal sojourns,

The haunting desires
in sight but not reach.

As I cling to a memory,
Cavorting with devils,
My utopian exile,

The slaughter of love
by the hand of romance.

I reside in my epilogue.
Much too late comes the answer.

I can never return,
The specter has died
in the suicide of stillbirth.

They sleep now,
An eternity of silence
Promising no awakening.

They no longer embrace me,
They cannot come to me,
Though they wait somewhere further
past darkness, past sorrow,
Beyond any mortal.

As I respite from this grieving,
This selfish, sad dreaming,
I go back to gray twilight
My friend of the evening
in reach, softly breathing.

Unafraid, through the darkness
Arm-in-arm, she will lead me
To where life has more meaning.

© ~~ ET 1986 ~~

ET
the street corner | scentless apprentice | Druidic Concoctions | anonymous | Antithesis
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